my name is Melanie but you can call me

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zohbugg:

if I ever fall into a coma someone please come secretly tweeze my eyebrows so I can make all the nurses hella jealous of my unconscious eyebrow game. 

harzilla:

fallen-angel-with-a-shotgun:

dajo42:

if you dont have me on facebook you are probably not missing out on any posts but the comment section is important too lmao

I went to the Renaissance faire dressed as a warrior.  I had a real sword with me, too.  I was standing (in character) next to a sword-fighting ring, where kids of all ages got the chance to pick up a sword and challenge the champion.  Some woman walks by, with her little girl.  The girl starts walking towards the ring, saying she wants to fight.  But the mom pulled her away hella sharply, and was like, “That’s for boys.”  You don’t want to be a BOY, do you?”    And the girl looked around and saw me.  I think she thought I was a boy; I had my hair in a ponytail, and was wearing a hood.  So she comes up to me and asks me, “Do you think girls can be fighters, too?”  And her mom looks like she’s silently gloating.  Like she thinks I’m going to say no.  So I take off my hood, untie my hair so that it flows freely, and kneel before her.  And I’m like, “Milady, anyone can be a fighter.”  I swear, the look on that mother’s face made my day.

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thatsmoderatelyraven:

my goal is to watch so many more movies so i understand every reference ever

funthot:

okay scary story time my sister hid this pic of Michael Jackson behind my pillow and when I lifted my pillow I saw this and I screamed so loud I can’t even handle looking at the pic omfg

dggus:

i talk a lot of shit for someone who can’t choose rude dialogue options in games because i’m scared of hurting a characters feelings

anartisticanomaly:

phantomcat94:

meefling:

You Aren’t Boring I Just Suck At Conversations I’m Sorry: a novel by me

I’m Not Ignoring You I Just Don’t Know What To Say: a sequel by me

I Feel Like I have Nothing Interesting To Say So I Don’t Say Anything At All And I’m Really Sorry Don’t Stop Talking To Me: the trilogy.

siderealscion:

mALEFISHIENT, MARK

ive been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.

(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)

ponett:

adriofthedead:

xinggan:

I’m grossed out by the kind of stuff tumblr does to its users over an extended period of time

Grammar and punctuation is completely lost on some people, to the point where their posts are unreadable and irritating

And tumblr fosters and feeds this incredible narcissism and need to impress people- people who don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

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mangomamita:

also this is my favorite vine

squided:

"bisexuals are just being greedy"

This statement is correct.  I want all the donuts to myself.  No sharon you can’t have a donut.  Yes, I know there are 24 donuts.  Yes, I want them all for myself.  Fuck off sharon.